We live in a Universe of Laws and Rules. The Universe is harmonious and precise. It does not fail, even when we think it is being though on us. One of the Universal Laws that has become the focus of attention and conversations lately, due to the huge success of the hit movie “The Secret”, is the Law of Attraction. And that is a great and important step for the evolution of mankind as a whole. The understanding and application of this Law is one essential step towards self-development.

We are indeed moving along a path of evolution, regardless of what anybody may say or think. Evolution is part of life, another Universal Law. What some fail to understand is that this evolutionary path may include some suffering. But, is suffering necessarily important or essential to our growth?

I have heard it said that “if we do not learn by love, we have to learn by pain”. Following that thought, we must assume that suffering may be a result of us not living in harmony with some important Universal Laws. It is the Universe giving us a clear message that we’re still failing somewhere.

To me the best definition of “spirituality” is: living in harmony with Universal Laws. And that way of living could bring the end of suffering and a quickening to our individual and collective growth. However, most of mankind still lacks the required knowledge and guidance to reach this goal. No wonder, we were not taught about these Laws in School, we don’t know better.

So, what should be our first goal in life, before health, abundance, power, magnetism? To me it should be learning and applying the Universal Laws that we know about. We may not know all of them, but the ones we know so far are more than enough to start with.

My definition of happiness is the same as my definition for “spirituality”; living in harmony with Universal Laws. Once we are able to reach this harmony, happiness is natural, we don’t have to search for it, and we don’t have to strive for it. It just happens.

So, start by asking yourself: “Am I living in harmony with the Universal Laws that I know, or am I just an intellectual knower?” Just reading it will not suffice, just believing or agreeing with it is not enough. We must take this seriously, as a life path. And, as any specialist in any area, we must refine our practice each and every day. The Law of Attraction, for example, is not to be used only when we are in need or distress, like most people use prayer, as a form of escape. We must be aware of it, and observe how attraction is working on our lives. Reverse attraction is a fact; it is attracting that which you do NOT want. So, the Law works regardless, and it is neutral. We are the ones who must use it correctly, pretty much like electricity, gravity and the laws of mathematics. If we are not happy, it means that we are failing to harmonize with some Universal Law.

Wellington is a Brazilian-born Personal Power Coach living and working in NY. He is probably the only one in this area who charges only for results, not for trying. He is the co-author of

Three Simple Steps to Turn “You” into “YOU

Do you consider yourself to be a pioneer in life and believe that your life is about being the “leading edge”? Do you consider yourself to be among the first on an untrodden path? Are you in love with new ideas, practices, technologies, healing modalities, and a plethora of ways to make the world a better place? Do you constantly find yourself curious, inventive, and creative? These are all characteristics of a pioneer.

Being a pioneer is a very exciting stance to take, but by its nature, it can also feel isolating and unsupported. What are some ways to be a pioneer–and stay connected to nurturing relationships?

1.) Historically, there does seem to be a connection between genius, single minded focus, and breakthrough pioneering achievements. Thomas Edison, Madame Curie, Bill Gates are perfect examples of this phenomenon. Single minded focus alone can be quite trying to relationships.

Around the clock work in pursuit of pioneering work leaves little or no time or energy for relationships. This is an awareness that can serve your best interests. It may require you to develop some techniques that provide time and space for relationships. An example might be keeping “office hours” and connecting with humans during free time. Another idea might be making “family time” on a regular and predictable basis. You can’t expect someone to “be there” for you if you aren’t making a point of being there for them.

2.) A mastermind is a great way to connect with others and mutually support pioneering effort. Napoleon Hill in “Think and Grow Rich” talks of the Mastermind concept. One of my favorite parts of the book is where he describes the association of Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Luther Burbank, Harvey Firestone and John Burrough as a mastermind and that this association surely contributed greatly to the exceptional success of each of them.

3.) There can be a tendency among pioneers to be idealistic and naive. Some examples would be things like Jonestown followers, American

Recently a potential client described her business to me. She did outdoor retreats for women in leadership roles. They consist of rituals and writing and sharing, all in the outdoors. The multiple photos on her web site showed women sitting around outside in wilderness gear. It looked like 60’s style consciousness raising groups done outdoors. She charged non-profitable prices and had few enrollees.

She resisted considering working with both genders and rigidly clung to her business model. She wanted the market to conform to her needs to sell what the market did not find compelling. She would not look at nor consider that perhaps her offerings were out of date. She was very frustrated that her income was so low and that her talents were not fully realized.

Many highly talented people refuse to see how selling what the market does not want is a self sabotaging behavior. We humans can easily delude ourselves that what we want is the best indication of what the market wants. That is not true. It is a fantasy that can cause massive frustration. If you think you might be attempting to sell what the market does not want, here are some ideas.

1.) Do you have esoteric interests and imagine that more people share those interests than actually do? It can easily happen that we are so taken by our own elite tastes that we imagine that they are equally prized by a wide audience. If this is the basis of your business, get to a library and do some market research. Ask the librarian for help on discovering how large your market might be. If it’s a miniscule niche, please reconsider basing your entire business on it.

2.) Pay attention to up to date trends–even if you don’t appreciate them. Attempting to sell 60’s style events, or product that does not suit today’s market is unlikely to bring satisfying results. Obviously, don’t copy today’s trends and fads, but be realistic about what attracts attention and income.

3.) Insisting that the market conform to you is a guaranteed path to failure. That’s simply not the way things work. When you go out to buy, do you buy things that aren’t what you want? No–and you leave frustrated if you can’t find what you do want. Why then, would you believe that other people would do this any differently than you do?

4.) Take a look at any way that you might be rigid about your business. Usually, when we rigidly hold to something, we miss out on what is actually going on, and are totally unavailable for unforseen opportunities.

5.) Explore whether or not you have any cynicism about the advice, ideas or offerings of others. You may find that you are allowing experiences of the past to cut you off from openness to possibility. There are times in life when we shut our eyes to considering input from anyone but ourself. This is usually a mistake. Learn to distinguish which feedback can be trusted. Doing this can become one of your most valuable tools.

6.) Keep your eyes open to the market. Start from what the market wants rather than from what you want. Be observant. Pay attention. Recognize the significance of what you see. Be open to fresh ideas and the stimulation of others. Be willing to synthisize taking one thing from one area and another thing from another area.

7.) Cultivate flexibility. Being nimble in reacting to the market’s demands is a hallmark of the thriving business. Flexibility and creativity make a powerful combination. Flexibility is a significant pre-requisite to creativity.

Take a serious look at your business. Are you attempting to sell what the market does not want to buy? Are your offerings outdated? Do you have few takers? Are you failing to make a profit? Time to reconsider and to detach from what is not working.

Suzi Elton is a success coach working with highly creative types to create income that matches their talent. She has coached hundreds of clients to approach their goals strategically through tiny steps to bring about quantum leaps. Get free Life Purpose exercises, at http://mylifepurposecoaching.com

Do you have a business that is struggling and you believe you never get any opportunities coming your way? Do you see other business owners have all kinds of good luck but believe luck “passes you by”? Do you ever feel there’s something you’re just “not getting” about how to create new business flowing your way? Do you wonder what others are doing that you’re not doing? Do you sometimes just feel like giving up in frustration? Does it seem that one more business disappointment will simply be more than you can live with?

This is a common part of being in business. Though it is common, it is not acceptable. Consider the possibility that not only are you leaving money on the table, you aren’t even seeing the “money on the table”. What if opportunities come your way as much as anyone else experiences, but you fail to see (or hear) them? Could it be possible that you learn of the same possibilities, but neither recognize nor react to them? In truth, this is what is happening. Here are some ideas to help you better “see the money on the table”.

1. An open and positive mental state is the greatest invitation to possibility. Strive to retain that openness of attitude. This will require you to choose the positive over the negative at all times. This extends to people, places, and things. If you’re making negative choices, you’re cutting off the expansive state of mind that attracts opportunity.

2.) Take your attention off yourself. Put your attention on others. Become genuinely interested in your fellow human beings. If you’re interested in them, they believe you’re a brilliant conversationalist, and most will eventually develop some reciprocal interest in you and your offerings.

3.) Give up fantasies of overnight success. Take the long view. Develop patience. Don’t expect to hit a home run every time at bat. That is unrealistic and leads to disappointment. Disappointment wrecks that positive mental attitude.

4.) Develop relationships. People want to work with those they know and trust. Attempting to do business with strangers is much harder and not as rewarding, both personally and financially.

5.) A key strength to develop is the ability to “hear” opportunity in your conversations. Be cautious and avoid “pouncing” on these opportunities. Gently inquire and uncover the details and potential.

6.) Pay attention to your intuition or inner guidance. Most people experience this as an inner “voice” or inner knowing, gently guiding them to do or avoid some action. This inner voice can be trusted to help you with the timing of your approaches to opportunity.

7.) Make discreet inquiries. If you get the intuition that there’s potential opportunity, open a discussion about it. Test for mututal interest. Keep your eyes and ears open.

8.) Make a point of noticing when there is “money on the table”–the potential for money producing business–and decide you will pursue these opportunities.

9.) Once you have decided to notice and pursue, it will quickly become obvious that opportunities are all about us at all times. You will also notice how oblivious most people are about opportunities.

10.) The biggest spoiler of opportunity is distraction. Most people allow distractions to get in the way of both noticing and following up on opportunity. There are countless, innumberable potential distractions. Almost all of them are simply time wasters. Keep your mind and the focus of your activities targeted on opportunities and the actions to realize them. You will notice all about you frittering their lives away on fruitless distractions. Simply refusing to do so will put you way ahead of your business competitors.

Decide that in life and in your business you will see “the money on the table” and follow through to realize your opportunities. Opportunity is always there. We just need to optimize our “opportunity detection” skills.

Suzi Elton is a success coach working with highly creative types to create income that matches their talent. She has coached hundreds of clients to approach their goals strategically through tiny steps to bring about quantum leaps. Get free Life Purpose exercises, at http://mylifepurposecoaching.com

Let us assume, rightly or wrongly, that babies are not born with attitudes. Or if they are, not very many. Babies mimic attitudes from their parents and caregivers initially. As they grow, they experiment with copying other attitudes they see around them (helpful, demanding, loving, belligerent, etc.), and adopt those that produce the results they want. In short, attitudes are adopted, by choice. Conscious or unconscious choice, but by choice nonetheless.

Unfortunately, the attitude of quality is uncommon, so is seldom adopted. In fact, the opposite is far more common, the attitude of anti-quality. Children who enjoy study and get good grades are eggheads. Those who excel at math are nerds. Neat and well-behaved kids are squares, or whatever the latest derogatory term is. Meticulous, detail-oriented people are nitpickers. Self-respecting teens are prudes.

By the time one reaches adulthood, with all its responsibilities, most people’s attitudes are pretty well set in stone. More often than not, these attitudes include a certain degree of resignation, as evidenced by some common expressions:

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

“Good enough for government work.”

“You get what you pay for.”

“No one expects it to be perfect.”

The result is the world we live in: full of error, mediocrity, bad drivers, high school drop-outs, unreliable technology, and daily unpleasant surprises. The idea of quality being a standard operating basis is completely unthinkable by almost anyone.

But why? Attitudes are adopted, not innate. Anyone can adopt an attitude. Why not adopt the attitude of doing things as well as you can? Of looking for ways to make things better? Of helping others do things better? No one can make you adopt an attitude, but no one can stop you either. And if adopting an attitude of quality means giving up the attitudes of defeat and just-try-to-get-by to make room for it, is that a bad thing?

Things are not the way they are because that’s the way they are. Things are the way they are because people make them that way. People. Not cats or dogs or trees or computers. People. If a person wants to do something right, he can. If a lot of people wanted to do things right, then things wouldn’t be so wrong.

That’s all a Quality Attitude is: Wanting to do things right. Even if it isn’t “necessary.” Even if it takes a little longer. Even if you’re “not paid enough.”

Why bother? Because doing things better gets better results. Neat stuff, like happiness and respect and pride, and who knows, maybe even a raise, or a happier family. Do it long enough, keep doing things better and better, and the sky’s the limit. Not overnight, but sooner than you think, and as certainly as the sun will rise.

So keep a few things in mind. Things can be better. Your life can be better. Your job can be better. The world can be better. Quality is first and foremost an attitude. It’s yours for the taking. Adopt it and win.

Don Dewsnap has spent years studying quality and its principles and applications. Now he has put his knowledge into a readable, useable book: Anyone Can Improve His or Her Life: The Principles of Quality. Find out more about this book at Principles-of-Quality.com.

Many are realizing the benefits of a sacred space as a place for spiritual development and peace. Setting aside a special place in our homes to meditate, relax and connect with our higher selves helps us to include spiritual development into our daily lives while balancing the demands of everyday living.

What is a sacred space?

A sacred space is a place to which we can retreat for peace, awareness and spiritual development. A sacred space provides us with a place where the energy and atmosphere are conducive to achieving a very peaceful and relaxed state as required for meditation. A sacred space can be as small as a home altar or as large as an entire room, a garden or even a purpose built temple.

A sacred space is not about religion. It is a spiritual place that reflects who you are spiritually, whether you are a devout follower of a particular religion, an atheist or agnostic. How you use your sacred space will also reflect your spiritual self. For many it will be a place of meditation and contemplation. For others it may be a place of worship, or to practice their beliefs in ritual. It may a combination of both.

Locating Your Sacred Space

The energy of a place builds up over time. An area takes on the energy of the events, feelings and thoughts that have occurred there. Over time, this energy can become strong if the same activities and feelings are repeated. A room, place or space where only meditation, spiritual practice and peaceful activities take place will become a place of peace. The calming energy will influence the way you feel when you enter that place and relaxation will come more easily to you. This, I believe, is an important aim of a sacred place.

Although, in some spiritual practices, the home altar is traditionally located in the main living area of the house, I believe, that in our modern world, a sacred space will serve you better if it is located away from the main living and utility areas of the house. This will give you an opportunity to create the desired energy for your sacred space without the influence from the buziness of your daily affairs.

Decorating Your Sacred Space

The decorations chosen for a sacred space will be a unique mixture of pictures, furniture, ornaments, cloth, cushions, color and whatever else appeals to you and others who use this special place. The important thing is that the decoration of a sacred space resonates with you and your belief system.

Symbols and Deities

To increase a sense of inner peace and harmony, a sacred place is often decorated with emblems and symbols of beauty, peace, happiness and spirituality. The symbols that you choose to display will depend upon your own personal preference and belief system. Deities are a common way of representing religious beliefs or associations. Many people demonstrate their religious tolerance by displaying deities from a number religions and belief systems. The deity on your altar and displayed in your sacred space represents the values that you hold dearest and those you wish to embody. For instance the Hindu God Ganesh is said to have overcome great obstacles and therefore embodies this trait. Whether you are Hindu or not, you may identify with the values that Ganesh represents.

Symbols are a powerful representation of spirituality and values. Spiritual symbols such as Om, Mandalas, Crucifix, the Pentacle, Greenman and Triple Moon are popular for altar decoration whether it be as an ornament, a picture on the wall, a decorative cloth that drapes the altar, or on an altar tile.

However, it is not necessary for you to identify with a specific religion to have an altar. For many who just want to celebrate life and the earth, statues of their favorite animals or pictures of amazing places on earth such as a remote beach with bright white sand and cobalt blue sky or a rainforest with huge old growth trees with buttress roots may be their symbol of beauty and harmony.

Crystals

Crystals and gemstones enhance your special place with their beauty and energy. Placed in your sacred place, crystals influence the energy around them with the special values that they embody. They are also beneficial when used in meditation and in healing. There are hundreds of crystals and gemstones to choose from. Some popular stones include:

Rose quartz – love, self acceptance, empathy, compassion, peaceful relationships

Clear quartz – spiritual and psychic development, powerful healing and meditation stone

Amethyst – dispelling anger and fear, creating peace

Moonstone – nurturing, soothing emotions, intuition, balance and introspection

Color

Color may be an important consideration for your sacred space. Each color of the spectrum brings with it particular values and feelings that will influence the energy of your special place. For instance yellow is a good color for concentration, perception and joy. Blue is the color for quiet contemplation, wisdom and honesty. Pink represents love, compassion and receptivity. White represents faith, tranquility, harmony and peace. Purple represents selflessness, dignity, vision and universal conscience. Red is a warm and vibrant color that is cheerful and dynamic. However, if you are sensitive to red, it may be difficult to relax in a room full of this color.

Any one color on its own can be overbearing. Even white can be clinical and harsh if there is too much of it. Light colors tend to provide a more uplifting atmosphere than dark colors. Too much dark color can be dampening and depressive. A theme of two or three main colors that harmonize will be the most tranquil.

Clutter

To achieve a calming atmosphere it is best to avoid too much ‘visual buziness’. Your sacred space will function best if it is simply furnished and decorated and easy to maintain. A high maintenance sacred place will increase the opportunity for stress. Also, it will be easier to empty your mind of the chatter and noise if your surroundings are clear and simple.

Scent for Ambience and Magic

Scent will have a great impact on how you feel in your special place. Burning incense or warming essential oils of your favorite scent will increase the value of your experience, whether you a performing a ritual, meditating or just reading a book. Scents can be used for purification purposes at the beginning of your spiritual practice. They can also have a powerful impact on your mood and you can use this quality of scent to achieve special purposes such as calming, increasing vitality and energizing, focusing and increasing concentration.

However, scents are said to have powers that go beyond just mood enhancement and have been used in spiritual ceremonies for thousands of years for such purposes as creating luck, prosperity, protection, love and spiritual development.

Fresh flowers are also added to an altar or sacred space for their scent, color, beauty and freshness. The presence of plants, whether it be in the sacred garden or as a pot plant in an internal sacred space, will provide oxygen, freshening and improving the atmosphere.

Sound

Certain sound frequencies and vibration are of benefit for cleansing, calming, energizing, revitalizing, healing and raising the vibrational energy of your sacred space. As with scent, the sounds you select will depend upon the activity you are performing and your particular preference. A cleansing Om will purify the energy in a room and raise the vibration. Repetitive sounds such as mantras, chants and drumming increase the vibrational energy. Ringing a bell is traditional for at the beginning of many spiritual practices. In Wicca, the bell is rung at the start of a ritual to invoke the Goddess. A small decorative bell is often a standard item on an altar.

Instinctively, we know what sounds or music to play to best serve our needs at any particular time. A CD player and a selection of music and guided meditations will come in handy in your sacred space. At times you may just like to enjoy the silence, if you are lucky enough to have this choice. If you have a sacred garden or a room that opens out onto a natural setting, listening to the sounds of the birds, the breeze through the trees, crickets and other natural sounds provides the ultimate music for relaxation.

Light

A lamp or lantern that emits a soft glow will provide a relaxing atmosphere for meditation, relaxation and rituals. Salt lamps provide a soft warm light and have the added benefit of ionizing the atmosphere, increasing your ability to concentrate and your general feeling of wellbeing. If you or another member of the family suffers from asthma, salt lamps are a much better choice than candles as they improve the atmosphere by adding negative ions. The smoke produced from candles could affect someone with breathing difficulties. Salt lamps are also much safer than lighting candles.

However, candlelight is the ultimate mood stimulator. It is difficult to replace the candle for its ability to create instant mysticism. The flickering flame is mesmerizing and can be a good focus for meditation. Candle lamps and lanterns also provide a sensual and peaceful atmosphere and have the added benefit of being hangable.

Candles and Ceremony

Candles are also a very important aspect of most spiritual practice. White candles have been of particular importance in religious and other ceremonies as they represent peace and purity. Colored candles have particular meanings also. The standard colors of red, yellow, blue, green and white represent the elements of fire, air, water, earth and spirit. Each candle color is also representative of the values associated with that color. For instance red is for vitality and motivation, yellow is for intellectual ability and acquiring knowledge, green is for wealth and abundance of material things.

The number of candle ceremonies is almost endless. Here is a simple ceremony that can assist you to reach your dreams and goals.

Choose the colored candle that best fits your purpose and your affirmation. You may have an affirmation for each area of your life and therefore you will have a range of colored candles. Say, for instance, you have exams coming up and it is important for you to achieve a good result.

- Write an affirmation. Example: ‘I have excellent recall of all that I have learnt in the subject and I am able to express this information accurately and comprehensively.’

- Ensure that you are totally relaxed. Meditating prior to a ceremony will clear your mind and increase your connection to the higher realms.

- Create ambience in your sacred space - low light and soft music or Om in the background.

- Light a white a candle first and ask that the spirit be present as well any other entity that has meaning for you.

- Light the yellow candle and introduce your affirmation by stating your intention.

- Read your affirmation and visualize yourself in your exam confidently completing each question of the exam. The more detail you can imagine the better.

- On completion, thank the spirit for all that you already have in regards to your studies such as opportunity for an education, a healthy mind and healthy body, intelligence, the wealth that has enabled you to undertake study and anything else that is relevant.

- Extinguish the yellow candle and then the white candle.

A sacred space is a special place for awareness and connection of the mind, the body and the spirit. Your sacred space includes elements that influence each of your senses to encourage peace, harmony and spiritual awareness. It is a place to reflect you, your tastes and your beliefs. In our modern, busy lives, our sacred space provides a retreat where you can quieten your mind and connect with the higher realms – your own sacred temple.

Carolyn has Placid Moon, an online shop that sells a range of new age gifts for your home and sacred space. Browse Placid Moon for crystals and gemstones, candles, candle holders, candle snuffers, essential oils, incense, incense burners, smudge sticks, salt lamps, statues and other altar items and a great range of meditation CDs and new age books.

Did you ever asked yourself why is sometimes difficult to accomplish some task, even if the prize is good? On the other hand sometimes you are able to do something very hard and for long time, even you will not have direct material benefit. The way of approach to some task depends of a many factors; skills, experience, energy level, time of a day, etc. But one of the most important factors is – the Motivation.

Motivation is something that pushes you toward your goal. If you have motivation for some job, you are working more persistent and longer than usual. But if you are not motivated, you find even the simplest tasks to be difficult, boring and you try to find as many excuses as possible, just to delay or postpone the job.

So, why is motivation that important? Imagine the balloon. It can be of different size, shape, color, painted, etc. But if there is air inside, then you do not have the balloon, but the piece of rubber. So, the balloon needs something to be pumped up, in order to show his real shape. You can find many examples; car needs a fuel, windmill needs a wind, bird needs a sunlight to sing, painter need a motivation – ah, yes, the motivation, in order to paint. Without motivation the canvas and paints will not move themselves.

We can use several factors that can help us to be motivated toward the goal:

Preference for some job can give us a wind in a back. If we prefer to do some job, than we will do it more easily and much faster. Therefore, we must try to head for profession, environment and benefits that come as result, in a way that correspond to our preference.

Job that we do not like; if we have to do something that we dislike, which will happen occasionally, regardless how much we try to avoid it, than we must try to find some indirect sources of motivation. If we rely have to do some digging in your garden, while you do not rely like doing that, than try to find some indirect benefit. That can be vegetables or flowers grown by your hand. The fact that you grew them can be your satisfaction and motivation. Also you can impress somebody important with your work, which can be also your reward. You can find many examples where reward after job can be motivation.

Personal Development can be your motivation. If you do not like doing something too much, still you can learn and progress while you working on it. By developing some skill you can turn something from your weakness to your strength. For example, you might dislike web design and programming, but you want your web site, since you are passionate on some subject and you want to write about it. Design can be technical part that you do not like, while web publishing is something that interest you. If you start working on design, you might expand this skill and knowledge, which makes you more proficient in web publishing business.

Bypass steps that you do not like. Again, let say that you rely like writing and you want to build your web site. But if you really, really hate technical part of building web page, then simply hire somebody to do that job for you. It will cost you some money, but you can save a lot of time and effort. That way you will have more strength and motivation to deal with content of the web.

Set Milestones on your road for your goal. For example, the studying can be complex and long, with many difficult exams. But, as you cannot build house in one day, also you cannot finish your study instantly. Focusing on one exam can bring you the pass. Then focus on a next exam, and so on. Every exam is the milestone on you road to the degree.

Balancing tasks in our life can give you the motivation. If you have a really difficult job during the day, you can source motivation from a pleasant evening that you plan to spend after your job. So, your evening party can be counter balance for a rough day.

Planning of activities can help you to do some activity easier way. If you have a long trip ahead of you, and you are really not in a mood for driving nor you can find any motivation at the destination point, try to split your boring driving. You can stop for lunch at the nice restaurant on your way. Later you can plan to stop at the nice countryside, on your way, and enjoy the view. This way you plan to split your long and boring journey and fill it with more interesting activities. It will give you motivation that you need for the trip.

Timing planned according to your mood pattern can help you to do something more easily. If you plan to start jogging, try to decide what time of a day suits you for your exercise. If you prefer to do jogging at the afternoon, instead early in the morning, than choose your schedule accordingly.

Basically, you can find motivation everywhere. Even if you are not able to find anything significant to motivate you, then find at least something small, but something that you like. Experiment a lot. Doing something differently can help you to do things more easily and efficiently. Use your experience. Use your motivation enablers and try to avoid your blockers. Try to find company if that will help you. Listen music while working something. If you really feel that you can not do something now – then don’t. Try to do it later.

Laurus Nobilis has 11 years of experience in FMCG business. In 2007 he has started the www.biz-development.com web site dedicated to development of managerial skills. He also runs www.my-introspective.com a Personal Exploration and Development Guide.

I have what I think of as great start-up energy, many of us do. I love starting a new project and, but, I won’t let myself start something new until the old gets completed. The carrot for completion is the new project. I love the new idea, the new beginning, and all the possibilities. This is the part of the creative process I love the most. I have learned the hard way, of course, that goes without saying, that if I only stay in the world of new ideas, and new beginnings, nothing gets completed.

So get on with it I tell myself. Whining is not a start. That’s a delay tactic. A thought occurs; a new way of thinking about the finish-it-up, clean-it-up, wrap-it-up problem. Reward myself with something I really love and enjoy to do.

Create a celebration, call it a bribe, who cares? This need not be a full blown party event though it can be, especially for something monumental like the completion of a book. It can be something that’s easy and hugely satisfying; something that’s uniquely satisfying to us. For me that would be a short trip to a nearby village that has a great art store and a cafe that serves European style espresso with cafe seating where I can sit, draw, and watch the world go by. I would prefer to be in Paris but this will do for now.

How’d I get to this pathetic place of stagnation in the first place? Often it’s my thinking I don’t know how to do something or even where to begin. When it’s new I’m capable of convincing myself I couldn’t possibly know how to do what’s at hand. There’s a video that needs recording. This one really stopped me in my tracks, maybe it was the terror of being in front of the camera, that could do it.

I’m an expert at making big circles around a project. Circling, circling, circling until at long last I attack. I can pretend, I don’t know, I can research for days, I can do the mundane, I can complain and whine. Sometimes I have to accept that I’m simply not ready to commit. Other times I need to take a day off, get off the computer, dig in the garden, or take a swim and jar loose the body and the mind from the efforting. When I’m out in the middle of the lake I can solve most anything.

With a difficult project once started, even badly, I begin to see where it wants to take me. Perhaps that was the problem all along. I was trying too hard; trying to move this boulder my way not that the natural, and easy way it wanted to roll down the hill. I need to get out of the way and trust the process. I know this process, some times, not at all times.

At this moment, the stalled projects are complete, even the video. And now I get to do something I love to do. I get to clear up the studio. This is a carrot for me. Cleaning up is a carrot? Absolutely! It’s the signal that something new is about to begin and I’m always excited to begin the new knowing the old is complete.

Jill Butler is an author, illustrator, designer and creativity coach. Her product designs are specific to France as are her first three books. Jill now writes for women in transition and how the home and the personal transformation work hand in hand in her latest book, Create the Space You Deserve. For more, visit: Jill Butler.

Overreacting to stressful situations is a form of “self-sabotage” that causes emotional stress.

Everyone experiences stress; sometimes the way we react to stress amounts to self-sabotage! We’ve all found ourselves impatient with people or taking our frustrations out on others, or causing unnecessary conflicts because stress is clouding our judgment. And while some people find themselves creating this type of drama in their lives occasionally, others make this self-sabotage a way of life, continually creating additional emotional stress for themselves without being aware of their own role in this!

The following are some of the most common ways that people create stress in their own lives. Carefully think about whether any of these self-sabotage techniques apply to you, so you can make simple changes to reduce significant stress from your life.

Being “Type A”:

People who move through the world in a “Type A” pattern of behavior rush frantically and treat others with hostility. If you react to life in a “Type A” manner, you’re probably bringing unnecessary emotional stress to relationships with aggressiveness. You may be missing simple solutions to problems because you’re rushing so much that you don’t pay attention to details; doing so, you also create bigger problems.

Negative Self Talk:

Sometimes, the enemy is inside your head in the form of negative self-talk. The way we talk to ourselves forms during childhood and can follow us through our lives. Those whose self-talk tends to be negative may attribute malevolent intent to others when none exists, interpret potentially positive events as negative and missing important benefits, or create a self-fulfilling prophecy by believing their stress level is more than they can handle. If you suspect that you habitually use negative self-talk in your daily life, it’s not too late to learn positive self-talk.

By keeping a journal, using positive affirmations and surrounding yourself with positive energy, you can turn things around for the better, and experience much less stress in your daily life.

Poor Conflict Resolution Skills:

Do you tend to act aggressively with people when simple assertiveness will work better? Or do you passively let others walk all over you because you don’t know how to say no? Conflicts with others are generally a part of life, but how we handle them can strengthen relationships, or can cause additional stress and create bigger conflicts. Many people who act aggressively aren’t fully aware that they’re doing harm in their relationships, and aren’t familiar with a better way of handling things.

Pessimism:

If you’re a pessimist, you may see things as worse than they really are, may pass up opportunities to better your situation and overlook solutions to problems. Pessimism is more than just seeing the glass as half-empty; it’s a specific worldview that undermines your belief in yourself, brings poorer health outcomes, fewer positive life events, and other negative consequences.

Taking On Too Much:

Are you overscheduled and overstressed? You may be taking on too much, and putting yourself under undue pressure because of it. Whether it’s because you’re a “Type A” type person or because you’re not sure how to say no to others’ demands on your time, you can put yourself in a state of chronic stress if you habitually take on more than you can handle.

Janie Behr is a qualified life coach specializing in helping baby boomers and mid-lifers find their purpose, achieve their goals, and explore all the possibilities that life has to offer. She is available for private individual coaching, group coaching and public speaking engagements on any topic addressing the interesting concerns of this important generation. Contact her at Janie Behr, Life Coach